A Tarot to eXPiRe... ...to who I think I am, and no longer block whom I could become!
A few words about a Tarot to eXPiRe:
The dilemma of creation: just who do I think I am? The journey & the destination: to be or not 2B? The First and the Last: am I rising or falling?
The dilemma of creation: just who do I think I am?
All cultures – including science – use creation myths to attempt to answer universal questions: what’s real? What is my purpose? Where do I come from? Who am I? According to the Egyptians, in the beginning was darkness, water, and the great god Atum. Surprisingly, the Hebrew Bible has two creations stories involving two different "God” names (or creative Powers) and two Adams (or identities). Feeling the "way” of two Names help me to eradicate my creative blocks, and to decide consciously who I choose to be:
A primary Adam, who is created in the image of "God,” male and female, and has no issue emPowering the Now. A secondary Adam who thinks he’s the body (a man), projects "God” out there, is SO lonely he is yearning for the time when he meets his woman! When under the influence of secondary Adam, my mind is split as follows: a part of me knows what to do (the memory of primary Adam), the other doesn’t want to do it!
When secondary, I don’t hear or understand myself. I am asleep in the dream of an out there. The illusion of separation disconnects me from "God,” splitting matter and spirit, and limiting my creative Power. To survive, I now feel obligated to take care of your needs, and resent you for it. Not being there for me, I obsess on what’s in it for me, which results in even more dissatisfaction! How much suffering do I still need before I’d feel and sense what I am doing to myself… How long before I ask (and answer) the ultimate question: who am I?
The journey and the destination:
I begin with a Noble Truth. This truth came from a Buddha (an "awakened” One) and is still here to wake me up. It says, there is an END to dissatisfaction. Indeed, there is an END to the hunger, the yearning, the craving... Now the soul of perennial truths adds a new perspective: "As above, so below; as within, so without.” Whether I am conscious of it or not, I choose to observe a specific reality. But WHY would I choose, consciously or not, to observe lack, when it sets me up to crave for more, and be dissatisfied? It is absurd, as if I wanted to harm me or punish myself!
Next Noble Truth states: there is a path to The END of dissatisfaction. While this END is the destination, it curiously is not the END of the journey, as another path begins: this of integrity – when I feel, sense and know that I am enough!
This is a path to eXPiRe to the "not enough” I think I am, a path that is at once finite and infinite. I just need to decide to take a first step, and persevere until I take a last step, into to the END. Happy are those who persevere until they know to be "the first and the last…”
The First and the Last: am I rising or falling?
The "Last” sign of S/Hebrew is actually the First, a wonder transmitted as "the Path of the Cross” as a crossing over. The felt-sense of moving from Aleph’s unconditional love (#1) to Beth’s first judgment (#2) compels me to travel sign by sign, and evolve consciousness to the "last” stage and sign Tav, when I save myself by accepting the intensity of my pain as my Passion.
Falling from A to T: I think I’m the body. This causes me to focus on an outcome, trying to create a specific reality, and causing my suffering. This continues until I take a "last” step. This is my Crucifixion, which I hear as "Curse-A-Fiction,” since my curse turned into a blessing, and suffering, into grace. Yet, this is a beginning, as I now have the courage to do what I couldn’t do before: turn within! Rising from T to A: I now crossover, and move from "last” sign Tav to "first” sign Aleph, which will be last, when I embody IT – pure awareness.